When Letting Go Is The Most Loving Thing To Do

Often, when someone tells me they have no confidence in another person’s ability to “do the right thing”, I’ll remind them that it’s worthwhile to allow people opportunities to show up differently. We all, every second of every day, can rewrite our stories. We all have chances for self-correction, shots at redemption. Grace is the deeply rooted thing that knows and, thus, flows from this. I, for one, remain grateful for every graciousness ever directed my way.

Here’s the tricky part, though: walking the fine line between patience with others and care of ourselves. It’s critical to grasp that one may extend grace to another while also removing oneself from abusive relationship. It’s critical to extend grace to oneself, too, ya?

An ongoing focus of my spiritual practice is non-attachment. Holding on at all costs has been my life’s biggest issue to unlearn. I see that it’s never been a noble attribute; rather, it’s a fear-based, lack-centric sensibility: “THIS choice, lover, dream, belief, etc. is the ONLY one available to me! I can’t lose it!” It’s never seemed, at the time of desperate clutching, that this is what I was telling myself—it rarely even felt desperate—but it was. It absolutely was. And it interrupted my expansion.

I’m in a season of quite consciously letting go - most notably, those people I, in grace, understand may eventually show up differently but have, so frequently, NOT been good to my heart... held it with care or genuine respect... and who show no signs of interest in changing. For the sake of that heart - and in an effort to keep it open to trust and compassion - the most self-loving act is for me to move on. It’s also an act of love toward those I now bid farewell in that it offers them space to consider who they’ll be, from here on out. It’s not my business whether or not they take up any such consideration, but the space is there.

We receive the grace we give ourselves, beloveds.

Patsy Moore (she/her/hers) is a licensed Spiritual Counselor and creative multi-hyphenate, who frequently makes small things exploring big ideas. She resides and practices in Los Angeles, CA.


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